"I'm a teenager trapped in an old body."
Betty White

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."
Betty White

"If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble."
Betty White

"Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren't going to get rid of me that way."
Betty White

"Friendship takes time and energy if it's going to work. You can luck into something great, but it doesn't last if you don't give it proper appreciation. Friendship can be so comfortable, but nurture it-don't take it for granted."
Betty White



"You don't luck into integrity. You work at it."
Betty White

"Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do."
Betty White

"Trolls suck."
Betty White



"It’s [old age] not a surprise, we knew it was coming – make the most of it. So you may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in your mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game."
Betty White

"I have a two-story house and a bad memory, so I’m up and down those stairs all the time. That’s my exercise."
Betty White



"I don’t care who anybody sleeps with. If a couple has been together all that time — and there are gay relationships that are more solid than some heterosexual ones — I think it’s fine if they want to get married. I don’t know how people can get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much."
Betty White

"Keep the other person's well-being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on."
Betty White

"The secret to our marriage was enthusiasm. When I knew Allen was coming home, I would freshen my makeup and put on a new blouse. I don’t have a fella, but if Allen — or Robert Redford — were around, we’d have a very active sex life."
Betty White