funny pictures, optical illusions, funny video clips, weird news, and famous quotes



Mark Twain Quotes





"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
Mark Twain

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain

"Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it."
Mark Twain

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain

"Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough."
Mark Twain

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
Mark Twain

"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."
Mark Twain

"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean."
Mark Twain

"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
Mark Twain

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
Mark Twain



"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."
Mark Twain

"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."
Mark Twain

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."
Mark Twain

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."
Mark Twain

"An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before."
Mark Twain

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
Mark Twain

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Mark Twain

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."
Mark Twain

"There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry."

"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't."
Mark Twain

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
Mark Twain

"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable."
Mark Twain

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
Mark Twain

"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
Mark Twain

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."
Mark Twain

"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
Mark Twain

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know."
Mark Twain



"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
Mark Twain

"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."
Mark Twain

"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place."
Mark Twain

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
Mark Twain



"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
Mark Twain

"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way."
Mark Twain

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Mark Twain

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
Mark Twain

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
Mark Twain

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
Mark Twain

"Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand."
Mark Twain

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."
Mark Twain

"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."
Mark Twain











famous quotes

Quotes by Famous Men:
Albert Einstein
Abraham Lincoln
George Washington
John F Kennedy
Martin Luther King Jr.
Mark Twain
George Bernard Shaw
George Orwell
Siegmund Freud
Friedrich Nietzsche
Mahatma Gandhi
Jesus
Socrates
Plato
Karl Marx
Adolf Hitler
Winston Churchill
Leonardo da Vinci
John Lennon
Bob Marley
Oliver Gaspirtz
Dave Barry
Popular Topics:
Being Famous
Love
Funny
Life Quotes
Patriotism
Animals
Courage
Friendship
Movies
Sex
War
Politics
Religion
Sports Quotes
Inspirational
Money Quotes
Car Quotes
Motivational
Health Quotes
Stock Quotes
Weird Bible Quotes
Stupid Celebrity Quotes
Quotes by Famous Women:
Marilyn Monroe
Audrey Hepburn
Maya Angelou
Britney Spears
Erma Bombeck
Snooki
Pamela Anderson
Hillary Clinton
Tina Fey
Jenna Jameson
Queen Elizabeth II
Mother Teresa
Angelina Jolie
Betty White
Elizabeth Taylor
Madonna
Lady Gaga
Oprah Winfrey
Michelle Obama
Nicki Minaj
Beyonce
Betty Ford



funny pictures funny video clips optical illusions
famous quotes free online games weird news