"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
"The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs."
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."